Healthy relationships are among our most treasured blessings. They help us feel happier and more satisfied with life and they increase our sense of belonging. Healthy relationships can also make us less prone to physical and mental health issues. As with any good thing, healthy relationships don’t just happen. They typically require time, effort, and a willingness to develop good interpersonal skills. Although there are many aspects to building strong relationships, below are four areas to consider:
Communication
We’ve all heard the statement “communication is key.” This is probably because through good communication we can resolve many of the other issues that come up in a relationship. On the other hand, when communication breaks down it can be extremely frustrating and painful. There are many skills we can develop to help improve our communication ability, such as active listening, using I messages, being aware of other’s communication styles, and so on. However, the motives, feelings, tone of voice, and body language behind our communication, often have a stronger impact than the actual words we are using. Good communication includes being kind and truthful with a willingness to be vulnerable and to see the other person’s point of view. Through good communication we can identify problems and come up with mutually agreeable solutions. We can also share hopes, dreams, expectation, fears, and worries. Honest, vulnerable, and empathetic communication can create strong feelings of understanding and connection.
Trust
One of the most important parts of a relationship is the ability to trust one another. Trust represents the confidence and safety we feel knowing we can rely on someone because they wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt, betray, or violate us or our relationship. Trust is needed in building healthy, secure, and stable relationships. Without the foundation of trust, it is difficult to enjoy the fun, happy, and exciting parts of a relationship. If trust has been destroyed, it can be built again over time as both parties are willing to work on a relationship and get it back on track through repentance, forgiveness, and consistent efforts to display trustworthiness. When there is trust in a relationship, we are willing to open up and share our hearts with each other. The ability to be totally honest with someone and know that they are totally honest with us brings a feeling of safety which naturally strengthens a relationship.
Mutual Respect
Relationships grow in the garden of respect. Respect means seeing others as children of God with intrinsic value. It means stepping into another’s shoes to understand their perspective, choices, and opinions. It means considering the impact our own behavior and choices will have on them. It means coming up with solutions that will accommodate the needs of people or a willingness to meeting in the middle if necessary. Showing respect is not interrupting when others are speaking, not sharing things that are meant to be kept private, and not doing things that will undermine another’s progress. Respect also means seeing ourselves as a person of worth, taking care of our wellbeing and setting boundaries for how we are treated. When we love and respect ourselves, we are better able to develop love and respect for others.
Quality Time
In today’s world of work and digital distractions, it’s easy to find ourselves living side by side with others, never really interacting in a meaningful way with those we care about. Of course, we need to give our honest work for an honest day’s pay, but relationships should be a priority and be given a space on our calendars. The time spent with others helps us get to know them better and bonds us to them through shared experiences and memories. Quality time doesn’t have to cost a lot of money; a simple walk through the park or a game of chess can be the background for growing relationships. If we want to strengthen our relationship with someone, it’s important to spend quality time with them.
Marlin K Jensen said, “I think in all of us there is a profound longing for friendship, a deep yearning for the satisfaction and security that close and lasting relationships can give.” As we evaluate the quality of our relationships, we can do small and simple things to improve communication, build trust, incorporate respect, and spend quality time. Building healthy relationships is well worth the time and effort. It will enrich our lives and bring some of our greatest joys.