A common question I get when delivering training is what to do when your co-workers or boss have different expectations about how work gets done. It could be about email response time, prioritization of tasks, or even what constitutes a completed assignment. My response is typically a suggestion that they talk with that person or team and lay out expectations and preferences. It’s a conversation about how you have conversations and how you work together. Here are some ideas about how to have that conversation.
I love the idea of building a sort of user manual for how people work with you and how you work with others. I enjoy looking over the user manual that came with my Jeep so I can make the most of its features. Unfortunately, people don’t come with user manuals, and we often default to projecting our expectations and communication preferences on others. But of course, we are all different and have unique approaches. Rather than make assumptions, the idea is to ask more questions about what your team (or family, or friend) wants. Sheri Harley, founder of Candid Culture suggests that you start by asking the people you work with:
- What they expect from you
- What a good job looks like
- How they like to communicate
This is a great start for building your user guide. However, it may come off a little odd if you just ask these questions out of the blue. Let’s look at how this might work in your regular workflow. As you receive a new project or assignment, you might ask your supervisor if you can clarify a little. You could start by asking what a good job looks like to them. This will help you understand their vision for the project and allows you to ask any follow-up questions that come to mind about important details or outcomes. Then don’t forget to ask how they would like you to communicate updates, and how often. That sets the expectation for both of you, so you don’t have to rely on assumptions.
Do you find there are wildly different ideas in your team about how soon emails should be answered? In your next staff meeting, ask for some time to talk about communication. Look to find out people’s expectations and resist the urge to convert people to your, obviously superior, preferences. Discuss what good looks like in this case and decide as a group what you will do going forward.
If you want to have a better working relationship with the people around you, start a conversation about those expectations and preferences. Work at it until you have a good agreement about what will work best for general work or specific projects or situations. Create a user guide for your team that eliminates the guess work. Ask more. Assume less.